Remember these mantras to avoid the physical and emotional exhaustion of parenthood.
What do you think of when you hear the word “burnout”? When experts first coined the term, they used it to describe a syndrome faced by workers in high-power jobs that is characterized by extreme energy depletion or exhaustion, increased psychological distance from the job, and a negative or cynical attitude towards the job. Feel. But it turns out burnout isn’t just a problem for people in the C-suite. In fact, many new parents would say that one of the potential “complications” of having a baby is burnout!
So, what does parental burnout look like? For many people, it's a constant feeling of being overwhelmed and, by the end of the day, completely drained and utterly exhausted. Granted, it’s normal to experience some of these situations now and then—especially during those early sleepless nights—but it’s not normal to feel exhausted on a consistent basis. When you find yourself starting your day feeling extremely exhausted, or find that you no longer care about the components of your work and home life that once brought you joy, it's time to consciously take care of yourself. That means it’s time to step back, reexamine your perspective, and take small, meaningful steps (more on that below!) to find more peace, energy, and long-term health. Plus, the more you practice taking care of yourself, the less likely you are to experience burnout in the first place, and the better you'll be at recognizing signs of stress early and often.
If you are concerned that you have a specific clinical diagnosis that requires professional help, such as postpartum depression, major depressive disorder, or anxiety disorder, please contact your healthcare provider for more help.
If you're feeling the signs of burnout, here are some steps you can take to get things back under control.
1. Make self-care a priority
In fact, you'll be more successful at meeting your responsibilities at work and at home if you take care of yourself first. When you give, give, give to others, but not to yourself, you end up feeling overwhelmed, resentful, and at your wits end. On the other hand, making sure you prioritize your needs, including your physical and mental health, allows you to give from a place of generous abundance. That might mean spending an hour with a friend after get off work, or spending an extra ten minutes in the car before daycare pickup so you can finish that novel you've been reading. Meaningful self-care is never selfish. Paradoxically, it allows us to bring out our best selves in every aspect of life!
2. Surround yourself with support
If you want to avoid draining your energy and spirit, you must build a village of friends, family, or professionals to inject (realistic) optimism and encouragement into your life. This positive network can keep you inspired on your toughest days and cheer you on when you're at your peak. On the other hand, negative or critical people tend to suck the hope and life out of a room. You can choose to set important boundaries around your mental health by staying close to your advocates and cheerleaders (you know who they are!) and maintaining a healthy emotional distance between you and your naysayers ( You know who those people are too!).
3. Truly reconnect
Sometimes, a weekend (or even a few hours) of decompressing one-on-one with your partner, away from your baby, can make a huge difference. Remember, a date night or vacation doesn't have to be complicated or expensive. Backyard picnics, drives to enjoy beautiful local scenery, and sometimes watching your favorite stand-up comedy on the couch can also build our connections and strengthen our relationships. Likewise, it helps to invest in strengthening your communication skills and establishing a fair division of household labor so that when your whole family is together again, you have the help you need and the partnership you crave. Not in a relationship? Prioritize time with your best friends.
4. Find a way to escape
If you find yourself craving alone time with your children, that means you need to consciously listen to that need. Set a time on your weekend calendar for a walk alone for an hour, or sit alone on your porch with a cup of coffee. Listen to your passionate desire for children. Spending time alone engaging in creative pursuits like art, music, writing, or other hobbies sets a great example for our children that personal pursuits are important even after you become a mom or dad. You'll also get back to your kids refreshed and ready to be the best parent you can be.
5. Machen Sie eine Bildschirmpause
Der Druck auf unsere begrenzte Zeit kommt aus allen Richtungen – Fernseher, Telefone, Tablets, Laptops – und Ablenkungen bedrohen ständig unseren inneren Frieden. Wenn Sie sich Ihrer eigenen Zeit vor dem Bildschirm bewusst sind, hilft das dabei, Ängste und Unaufmerksamkeit zu reduzieren und kann die exekutive Funktion, d. h. Ihre Fähigkeit, Dinge zu erledigen, verbessern.
Achten Sie darauf, was hereinkommt: Die Informationen und Nachrichten, die Sie konsumieren, können Ihre Lebenseinstellung stark beeinflussen. Es ist wichtig, über weltweite, nationale oder sogar gemeinschaftliche Ereignisse auf dem Laufenden zu bleiben, aber das bedeutet nicht, dass Sie den ganzen Tag in Negativität versinken müssen – blockieren Sie daher bei Bedarf bestimmte Apps auf Ihrem Telefon oder legen Sie angemessene Zeitlimits dafür fest diejenigen, die Sie mit beunruhigenden Nachrichten überfluten. Setzen Sie vor allem bei Ihrem Social-Media-Konsum Grenzen, was Sie aufnehmen und wie oft Sie sich mit Negativität auseinandersetzen.
Je stärker Sie die Bildschirmzeit und die Nutzung anderer Gadgets einschränken, desto präsenter können Sie in der Nähe Ihrer Kinder sein. Kinder müssen wissen, dass sie Ihre Aufmerksamkeit verdienen und erhalten, und Sie werden von Anfang an die Nutzung intelligenter Bildschirme vorleben.
6. „Leerraum“ schaffen
Beabsichtigter Leerraum in Ihrem Zuhause und in Ihrem Kalender trägt wesentlich dazu bei. Wenn Sie überplanmäßig sind oder zu viel Unordnung haben, fällt es Ihnen schwerer, sich auf das Wesentliche zu konzentrieren, und Sie werden leichter überfordert. Wenn Sie zu einigen Projekten, Aktivitäten und außerschulischen Aktivitäten „Nein“ sagen, können Sie auch „Ja“ sagen, um Kontakte zu Ihrer Familie zu knüpfen und eine schöne Zeit mit Ihren Kindern zu verbringen – ganz zu schweigen von etwas mehr Spielraum und Zeit zum Durchatmen.
Wenn Sie mehr Freizeit haben, bleibt auch Raum für den Aufbau einer Teamatmosphäre bei Ihnen zu Hause, indem Sie Ihren Kindern beispielsweise beibringen, bei der Hausarbeit mitzuhelfen. Außerdem führt eine unstrukturierte Zeit oft zu Langeweile, was eine tolle Sache sein kann! Langeweile und freies Spiel führen zu Kreativität, was letztendlich zu einer tieferen Belastbarkeit führt.